Why Therapy?

It’s hard to start therapy. Once you’ve gotten past the stigma and you have decided to take the step towards finding a therapist, it can become incredibly overwhelming. Where do I look? How much should I pay? Why does the kind of therapy matter? How often should I go? Do I do virtual or in-person? There are endless choices and seemingly no straight forward answers.

It is important to find a therapist that you connect with because the therapeutic relationship is the single most transformational factor when it comes to therapy. Your therapist becomes a corrective experience where you will find unconditional support and accountability. Whenever someone tells me that they didn’t like therapy, the first question I ask is, “Did you connect with your therapist?” Most of the time people say that their therapist wasn’t their “type”.

It is important to identify the qualities you want in a therapist. Does gender matter to you? Does political affiliation matter to you? Do you want someone stern and distant, or someone comforting and close? Is it important that the therapist have the same ethnic/racial/religious background as you? These are all factors to consider when searching for a therapist, and they all help with the manual filters on psychologytoday.com and inclusivetherapists.com, which is good news. Play around with the filters and see what you find!

As for the virtual versus in-person question….it’s about preference and neither is more effective than the other. Some people need accessible care, and doing virtual therapy provides options. Some people need the routine of going to the therapist’s office and containing their emotions before leaving it all behind on the couch. It’s about what works for you, and there is no right answer. Do what is best for you and see if a therapist offers both, which allows you to change your mind if you’re not sure.

Finally, you should interview multiple therapists. Remember, you are paying them for a service! Some good questions to ask a therapist might be:

Do you take insurance? Do you offer sliding scale?

Do you diagnose clients? Why are you for/against diagnosis?

What is your therapeutic lens/orientation? What kind of modalities do you use?

How do you measure progress with your clients?

Do you welcome feedback? How do you feel about conflict with clients?

What is your own journey with mental health? How do you feel about disclosing personal information?

Most therapists will offer a complimentary consultation/discovery call to see if you would be a good fit. Take them up on the option and make sure to be up front with your needs and desires.

I’m so proud of you for seeking therapy. It’s not easy, but there’s nothing like finding an awesome therapist who truly understands you and makes you feel seen. Don’t give up, you’ll find the one. You have all of my love and support xoxo.