Suppression vs Distraction
Suppression means to stop the development and expression of a feeling or thought. Suppression leads to psychosomatic symptoms like headaches, anxiety, fatigue, and even panic attacks. When you are a therapy client, you are actively learning how to notice when you are suppressing a feeling, and decide on the healthiest way to express that feeling or thought. We often learn to suppress when we are very young, usually in households where expressions of feeling were discouraged, like crying or being angry. Adults who suppress often teach their children how to suppress, and the cycle continues until someone decides that they are tired of suppressing and would rather express. Expressing our emotions and thoughts leads us to a life of alignment between our body and our mind; it helps us to move more towards peace and away from inner turmoil. We want to move the feeling out of the body so we can experience relief and mental clarity.
Distraction is different. Distractions, or rather, coping skills and hobbies, can be healthy ways to draw attention away from distressing feelings. I encourage my clients to distract when they are processing difficult emotions and chronic stress. The difference between distraction and suppression is that distraction is a purposeful way to divert our uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that we have already acknowledged, while suppression is unconsciously pushing down feelings and emotions because it’s what we are taught and/or we don’t feel safe.
For instance, a client might be in graduate school and chronically stressed. They have acknowledged that they are hard on themselves and they are championing productivity over well-being. They are aware of what is going on, but they don’t have any control over the chronic stress of graduate school aside from self-care and time-management. I encourage my clients to use coping skills and do activities that bring them joy, like playing a video game, reading a fantasy novel, or going for a walk. This can be seen as a distraction from the issue of their chronic stress. Distractions are necessary! Distractions keep us sane, keep us in the moment, and help us to diffuse the stress from overwhelming systems like productivity culture, complex trauma, chronic illness, and unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
The next time you are engaging in an activity, ask yourself: Am I suppressing unwanted emotions and thoughts, or am I using this as a healthy distraction from the emotions that I am already processing? For instance, are you playing that videogame because it makes you feel numb and forget about the problems you have yet to acknowledge, or are you playing that videogame to give yourself a break or to experience joy under capitalism? This requires that we be honest with ourselves, and having the guidance of a licensed mental health professional can be helpful in identifying patterns.
Take care of yourself, you’re doing the best you can. Drink some water, take a deep breath. You’ve got this.
